he is not to blame


In order to have a change in our reality we must become alert to what it is that we are doing and how we are showing up in life.  Are we reactive or responsive?  Do we continue to feel a certain way such as fearful and make our choices from that place versus love?

Over my 603 full moons of life here I have travelled deep into my psyche discovering so much about my lineage, past lives and my continued lessons I have come here to transcend and remember.

A topic I want to touch on here is about our relationship with men, which is essentially our relationship within our self.  Here is what I have learned and hope you will at least read this and go a little deeper into your psyche and see how you truly are showing up for yourself in relationship with men.

If you have men who are not showing up for you, always late, never really commit and if they do commit they never show up, they are absent, maybe mean and aggressive at times, even abusive, it’s time to have a closer look at yourself.

The way I dealt with these challenges in my relationship with men was to constantly blame them for what they were and weren’t doing for me.  This is what I call projections.  Projections are always blaming someone else for what is going on in your reality even if what is going on seems as though it’s about the other person.  What I have learned is that if I have someone showing up in my life that doesn’t honor me 100%, notice I said 100% because there is no room for anything else, then if I stay in relationship with this man then I am essentially saying that this is perfectly alright and that I deserve to be treated with less than 100% honor and respect.  In self-ownership I realized that there was still a part of me that believed that I wasn’t worthy or good enough to be met with 100% honor and respect.  This is where the real work begins ladies reeling in the projections and taking 100% responsibility for your life, no matter who is in it and what they are doing!

My conscious solution to this challenge was sharing my full truth to him letting him know that I will only accept 100% respect and honor from him anything less and I am unable to participate.  Once I have set the standard this calls him to his level of self-love and opens the opportunity to remember his own worthiness.  At this time he can choose to meet me or finds out he is unable to honor the ask.  If he is unable then I say my goodbyes and anchor myself into my life of 100% LOVE, RESPECT AND HONOR.

Going a little deeper into my own personal process I discovered that I have a masculine and feminine energy operating inside of me.  Every single thing that I projected onto him, that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t doing these things, was actually a belief that I had within my own wounded masculine and feminine.  I discovered that my wounded masculine was quite a sleazy charmer, used to always want the attention of the ladies, would do pretty much anything to get their attention and keep it even dis-respect the woman that was with him.  He loved to sexually flirt with other women openly in front of his partner and would call her jealous when she would complain to him about this.  He was an incredible lover so he could keep her happy but also lure in other potential concubines to fill his empty void.  He was essentially a slut and not a good guy.  He didn’t have any true morals or integrity for himself let alone for her.  My wounded feminine was no better.  She was a highly trained victim, everything was his fault, she would push him away deliberately, tried to harm him through rejection, everything that triggered her she would blame him for, she needed him to support her otherwise she wouldn’t be ok or safe in the world, pressuring him to take care of her and secretly seducing and promising him things just to fill her own void!  She was a deceitful, manipulating victim who would do anything to get him to stay with her so she was taken care of.  WOW!!  All those energies running in me, no wonder I never had a truly loving relationship based on integrity that was honoring and respectful 100% of the time.

As I realized what my part in my relationship with men was I naturally steered myself into solitude.    Solitude gave me the space to truly discover all of these wounds that were operating.  Spending more and more time alone I would experience these triggers that were the same as when I was with him, yet he was no where around.  This tipped me off that I must have been feeling and believing these ideas about myself first, he was just a mirror to my believed worthless self.  Jesus!  No!  Really?  It was never about him.  It was always what was going on inside of me, he just mirrored me back to me!  WOW!!!  Epiphany!!!

I am going to leave this here with all of you and I hope that this piece of sharing touches into you and you can make your way to 100% honor and respect for yourself as I have.  And one last thing… THANK YOU TO ALL THE MEN WHO HAVE HAD THE COURAGE to walk with me, mirroring my wounded sides to me so that I may find my way home to LOVE… I love you all!!!

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