Where am I

It is a time of great change. I know it has been for me.  The change may not have looked like it on the outside but the massive upheaval,  transformation, diving deeply, bridging, the confusion and the state of unknown all just happening inside of me.  As well as the deep feelings of sadness, grief and rage flooding my body and at times just absolute despair. And let us not forget the times of ecstatic bliss, joy, loving connection, celebration and a deep sense of the self.  All of this felt in a 5 to 10 minute space or over a day or two or a week!  All I can do is manage this nervous system, learning along the way how to hold this massive space for myself while living!!!

And through this all it continued calling for a profound level of acceptance of what is. This has been some of my greatest works thus far. As I move into a state of discomfort, absolute despair and darkness as well as excruciatingly beautiful levels of passion, purpose, joy and euphoria, there is this undeniable thirst-quenching desire for absolute acceptance of what I am.  Whether I see it as a good or a bad feeling and even that is being challenged “good or bad” feeling! This level of acceptance is solidifying this neutrality of just simply being.

What this means to me is that I’m coming to understand and realize whatever it is that I feel whether judged as bad or good is actually what is and I’m being asked to remove the Judgment and just come into a state of acceptance of  what I am experiencing period!

The mastery of neutrality of all things!!! PHEW, work in progress!

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