Codependancy

Judgement of others, not accepting differences between each other in everyday life and living, a need to control its environment otherwise it doesnt feel safe, obsessiveness, neediness, keeping busy all the time, all of these are symptoms of FEAR.  Fear of what you ask.  It’s called co-dependancy, it’s a massive collective dis-ease here on the planet.  It’s when you give and give and give, compromise, say yes when you mean no, dont honour yourself in all moments and continue a repetitive pattern of pushing the self beyond its capacity over and over.  The human hits the breaking point, this point in the psyche then begins judging others, isnt able to accept our differences and makes it personal, must control experiences with others to feel safe, becomes obsessive in its thoughts and actions, has an unquenching thirst that needs things to be in its control, and steps into overdrive to fill it’s space with things to do at specific times and cannot waiver from it otherwise feels unsafe.  These are all the exhaust of the symptoms that are created through fear which then manifests into co-dependancy behaviours.  The human ego has mastered co-dependancy through the degradation and denial of self.

Love is the cure for it all.  But how do you love something that is so wretched and unlovable?  It is through the self deepening process of radical authenticity.  Truly meeting yourself in this wretched unlovable state and stepping into forgiveness, compassion and letting go.  Staying with the feelings of abandonment, betrayal, disgust of self, denial, loss, sorrow, sadness, rage & anger, pitifullness, jealousy etc, learning to hold these in yourself as you would hold a dear friend or family member in  theirs.  Staying with yourself in it, picking you in every moment, saying no, saying yes when you want to, cancelling plans because you just simply cant, not making plans when you simply cant, only committing when you can, staying true to yourself always, this is the path of moving through co-dependancy.

You ask, what does co-dependancy have to do with any of this?  Co- dependancy has everything to do with it.  It is a behavioral condition that has been referred to relationships.  The biggest relationship you have is with the self. Therefore your primary relationship is with yourself and codependancy behaviours develop within the self with the self relationship first.

There is a way out, it is through yourself, facing these learned beliefs of self degradation, learning to love even the unlovable, forgiving yourself, finding compassion for these aspects of you and letting it all go!!!

If you find in this journey you require some support along the way please reach out to me or someone you trust.  The Dharmacy accepts all forms of abundance through exchange, gifting, contributing, trade and money for support given.

Thank you for who you are and how you show up in this world.  You are courage just for simply being here, in this time, on this planet, right now!!!

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