Its really an interesting blog today, in my “dying to live” I am writing about the opposite direction of where I am going! My Dad died, passed or crossed over, ascended, left the planet! All these terms to describe a human body ceasing to be as it was.
The first words my Mom quietly said over the phone yesterday, “I have some really bad news” then followed with “your Dad died yesterday evening” then followed with “he is free now!” Out of all those captions I really feel the third one is most authentic and true. He is free now! I have always had this incredible discomfort with the whole dying situation. And not because of the actual death but because of our ceremonial human way and language in it. All the I am so sorry’s, its better now, he/she is no longer suffering, please accept my condolences, oh my God thats such terrible news, etc, etc, etc! I am not trying to take anyone’s personal journey with death away from them only diving into a deeper inquiry into my understanding of it.
What if it was an immediate celebration of one’s life? If we went into an immense joy and honor of this persons walk, their accomplishments and failures and how they continued anyways. How about we each step into story telling of how this person touched, moved, inspired us? Maybe its also a time to clear any old baggage around the relationship or lack of. Our wakes or funerals could be transformed into true ceremonies of supporting those here and how to be with this transformation from body to pure spirit. Could our ceremony be more indigenous in nature? Moments devoted to holding each one of us in our personal grief, being witnessed and loved through this. May we be close to nature in the ceremony as we move through all the emotions and stories associated to this INCREDIBLE TRANSFORMATION happening!? I guess I would like to see this done less inside a building paid for by the deceased’s family and more in a place associated with this humans lived life!
My Dad is not here anymore in this form and I will never have the opportunity now to speak with him in his body, intact, we will never get to work through anything and that is what is left here for me. And I can also honor his walk here although I did not know him well. I acknowledge he worked his whole life, had some adventures, loved to build things and create with his hands. He built quite a few of our homes! He provided for his family. He loved hockey and played as a goalie. He coached my brothers as well in hockey. He showed up for ball games and sports that my brothers played. I know as young children we played on his back as though he was an amusement park for us. I remember the pool table games, especially on special occasions. He was home every night and every morning I lived at home. He went to his job everyday never missing a day. I can say he was reliable and dependable in these ways. My Dad and Mom stayed together all of my life and were together before I came along, thats over 54 years, WOW!!! HE DID THAT! After a life lived he is free now back with Creator, above and all around and even within he has left his imprint. We have all known him for some time or a long time and he touched each of us in that unique way. Now fly free Dad no more heavy burdens of this human form, you are light, free, unencumbered by that mind that let you down! I celebrate knowing you and our time together! You will be remembered in all the hearts you touched. Thank you for being my Dad.