Dying to Live “The Last Samurai”

For those of you who have watched this classic movie I hope you will feel what I am writing here and for those who have not maybe my words will pierce through into something?!

I write this at 10:45pm as I just finished watching this movie. I cannot sleep until the essence of what it provoked is on this page. My stomach is turning with sickness and my eyes swollen from sobbing. Watching the last battle of the Samurai gutted me wide open. A long standing culture wiped out because of modern evolution, greed and a sick power frenzy. An absolute disgrace, cowards shooting off rounds of bullets into the oncoming samurai, all they had were their bows and swords. There was no hope for the samurai at this last battle yet they road full speed into the wall of bullets. All this destruction and annihilation for the trade agreement with the USA paving the pockets of the weak and influenced.

What was so moving was that true warriors protect their heritage, their lands where their homes and family are. They are preserving a culture thick with respect to nature and its seasons. Honouring the slow times with prayer and meditation. Honing their crafts day after day. Working with the land, allies.

Why do we need to take from others? Why can’t we just leave the rich cultures alone? People minding their own business, living simply, respecting their environment in the most highest of honour.

I feel anxiety and a sick turning in my stomach because I am the exhaust of all these wars. I am what is here after all the stripping of culture. A woman born into this world with no culture, ceremony or ritual. A disconnect to the true essence of living attuned to the land as they did way back in these times. Where each day was a prayer of gratitude for the rich bounty of nature surrounding them, feeding and housing them. They all had their purpose in the tribe, mastering their craft each day, honing their skills. Collecting wood for winter and stocking up on food that was provided during the warmer months. Everything done meticulously in preparation for the next step in their survival. All of them working together synergistically aligned. Bathing in the hot springs in winter and streams near by in summer. Such a simplistic finely tuned and partnered with nature life. All the while I crawl into my big bed, boxspring and frame. Run my water through a tap that I can’t even drink from. So far away from a babbling brook or stream alive with its vitality ready to share with me. Here I am with a plastic catheter sticking out my back, my tooth pulled, a tumor in my right breast and with no home wondering where I am going to live in this big modern, greedy, fucked up twisted world! I have no culture instilled in me, no ancestral stories to carry on and nature resides in long distant memories of childhood.

Through the lack of culture I am finding my own, funny how that can go. I am starved for fresh rivers, creeks and lakes. My body purges all the wars, all the takings when they should have been preserved and these toxic times I find myself in. There is little to no honour left that I see and recognize in these times as I did see in that movie.  So I seek out rivers now, I process the lineages of wars through spiritual attuned practices and I preserve Gaia by living as aligned and sustainable to her as possible.  I have opened my eyes to the mass destruction and greed here and grieve this actively and openly.  I have found all kinds of spiritual studies in many cultures and now have my own practice which is MY UNIQUE culture.  I share all of these teachings with the younger generations as they are interested.  I sit with people in circle and we discover together how to be in our integrity and honour and what is our unique part here!  Bit by bit I have reclaimed this womans culture and continue to remember and integrate more attuned practices to Gaia.

For the past year I lived as a homesteader back on the land, growing food, herbs and medicine.  Composting my kitchen scraps and my humanure.  Taking care of my grey water recycling it back into the land.  Living very simply without much hydro.  I have since then had a change in plans and had to come back to civilization for a time however will be returning back to the land as soon as I can.

In summary I feel forced away from this ancient culture that is so right and nourishing.  Like I had to conform to modern day, imprinted in my very blood and lineage.  The old cultures all stripped and robbed, brutally murdered in order to take over.  I feel we have come as far away from what is right and now WE ARE BEGINNING OUR JOURNEY BACK HOME!!!

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