I want to write a new story of death yet it isn’t new! Let me begin by telling my old version of death as my environment and people have taught me. This is not a “happy ending” story but a dark, dismal, suffering and highly painful one. Well that about sums it up. Death has been shown to me through media and all kinds of stories to be horrible, depressing, filled with pain, sorrow, suffering and anguish. Often being ignored by the one dying and those around them. Like this gigantic pink elephant in the room, taking up all the space, pushing everyone up against the wall as it spreads out yet all conversations are about everything but that. A confusion felt beyond what words could explain. Left in such loneliness and emptiness with no real support and guidance. Insanity strikes in moments as the mind cannot fathom or understand its end or where it is going which it seems “no where!” How to be with a culture where death has been sent as a punishment of not living right and a plague of all endings? Nothing to follow or be excited about. No true “sacred” or “ritual.” Stripped of its true essence and magnificent gift that it is. Devoid of its honest nature, a portal back to one’s true essence of spirit, soul! A return home, formless, God Consciousness!
I am here in the old story of dying so that I can create the new story. I have had to go through every thought, belief, lived emotion and experience of the old matrix story of dying. Feeling every fucking inch of the sorrow, the immense grief and sadness. The perceived loss of everything I know. The desperate confusion of how, why, where and when. And let us not forget, WHY ME? AND WHY NOW? The absolute horror of my life ending, the body with the perceived illness in it, changing my world as I knew and lived it in every way, shape and form. No longer excited about my long life, just being and living, but actually deprived! And through all this I have discovered I was not living my fullest life. I was waiting, stalling, pausing because I always had tomorrow, next week, next year, or so I thought. This dormancy put off what I could truly do today for another time in my future, delaying living and thriving NOW!!!!
I believe that in my dying and really embodying my own death I can fully LIVE. I have also remembered that death is not an ending, nor is it a punishment to how I have lived but a portal into the Ascension process of God Consciousness, a home coming to another reality unlike this one. An energy, maybe even a frequency that is in all things, all people and places! An energy that embodies everything. So the body of Dana Lynn composts back into this earth which is the natural order of this reality and the soul then remembers its true state of existence which it has always been. And so the cycle of evolution and Ascension continues. The “return home” process is exciting not something to dread but to remember the eternal life of the soul which lives on forever. It is only this body that ends and recycles itself back into the earth. My ego had got so enormous that my attachment to just this life as Dana Lynn had taken over as the only being that exists when Dana Lynn is only 1 life in thousands of lives I have lived and will live. Not to negate or make this life as Dana Lynn small or meaningless but also not to make this life the only one!!! This is part of the work to transform the old story of death into a more beautiful transition and understanding that this is not the only ride here!
I am thriving while I am here, death has inspired that commitment in me. I will honour this vessel in the most meaningful way when it passes and I return home. I will share more of my journey in this as it guides me to.
In summary my perceived death and time left has brought me to a place that every moment and person is highly meaningful to me more than ever before. I live everyday finely attuned to my nervous system, my needs and wants, and how I am in this world with others and how to serve them in the most loving way. I am connected to everything, enjoying the creature comforts this life offers, yet living as sustainable and attuned to earth as I possibly can. I am immensely grateful to be here now, to feel all that I feel, to experience the breakdown of the old story and embody the new story that I believe is truly the way home and how to be here! Immense gratitude, thank you, thank you, thank you!