Change is NOT happening because Change is NOT happening!
I was thinking about what a past partner would say to me whenever we would spend some time together after breaking up; it’s impossible to be with you again because we just go back into the wounded relationship we were in before we broke up. And it baffled me because I knew I was a different person; I had done tremendous work on my victim and I had changed. As we spent more time together I could see he had not changed his old behavior and was projecting his lack of development on me. I see it more clearly than I ever have now. And when some one or two people who are together DO NOT CHANGE the way they are living their life and it has been discussed and processed in the relationship then CHANGE IS NOT HAPPENING! No matter how much revision one person has made if it is not reciprocated and both are matching each other it is impossible for the relationship to go anywhere except where the egoic person is. Darkness will prevail as long as there is one person still choosing to remain in the shadow self-more often than not, that person will drag that other person down if they do not get out.
Change could mean leaving a relationship where one person is unwilling to integrate a drastic shift in their conduct in order to meet the other. Change means living life differently and doing this regularly and learning how to manage one’s own nervous system. If anger is a problem, then learn how to regulate that anger in a harmless way and have a safe and consenting outlet to support this. If you are sad, mad, resentful, bitter, harmful, and/or depressed every day this will ruin the bond. Both parties must be actively working on advancement if the ego is prevalent. With the same attitude continuing every day for months this will destroy the alliance if there is no significant transformation.
If there is no other way to get out of the relationship and you find yourself trapped because of finances this is a living hell to be in. You want to leave but where would you go to live when you are unable to afford the current housing costs? Now you find yourself in a relationship where your partner is abusive, angry, sad, mistrusting life, expectant of everything, frustrated at the world, and unable to shift this perspective. Your partner’s emotional field spills out every day onto you and you are constantly trapped in their world and how they are handling it. Unable to escape to higher ground enough to self-care which in turn is now bringing you down into their hell. How to get out? How to change this? How to unhook yourself from them? These are the important questions to begin asking.
First, believe that there is another way for you. Second, you can always get out and be taken care of. Third, do not use the old 3D paradigm resources to find your solution if you are not operating in that way. Fourth, use your manifestation skills to attract your new home or way out. Fifth, keep yourself in a higher frequency of love no matter what. Sixth, get clear on what you want and allow the universe to figure the logistics out. Seventh, be clear about your needs and wants with your partner and always come from a place of respect and integrity even if your partner does not. Eighth, call out the truth and only allow loving respect from them. Anything else, walk away from. Ninth, begin preparing yourself for change to happen. Tenth, be ready for the next shift in your life.
So, you see, in order for change to happen you have to MAKE IT HAPPEN. And this is not an easy task, that is why so many people stay the same. This takes tremendous effort, focus, work and emotional and mental strength. This is not for the faint at heart. Find what you need to begin the CHANGE and then BE THE CHANGE.