I spent over 300 days with absolutely NO maple syrup, honey, dates and carbs of any kind including all gluten free grains/seeds and all legumes. I had already cut out sugar (white, golden and brown and even organic coconut sugar) 15 or more years ago including any commercial sugar products. And in those 300 days the tumor didn’t do what I was expecting. By the time I came out of the 300 Day starve the cancer diet I was starving. I was so weak, felt like I was being eaten from inside out and my tummy was very upset. I didn’t get all the results I wanted and it was one of the hardest times in my life. I did however lose 43 pounds of unwanted body fat and fat around my organs. I literally did what my Nutrition Oncologist termed “Self Chemo” therapy. The die off was extreme and there were many moments I was feeling so awful, dying seemed my only choice. There have been nights and days I prayed to leave this earthly vessel, begging God to please take me in my sleep gently.

I found a cancer and oncology nutritionist. They are both passionate and highly studied professionals. What I found was I knew as much as they did and sometimes they told me I could teach them some things. My approach was brave and courageous. And what I had to do was remember that it wasn’t necessarily my diet in the past over 20 years that brought cancer to visit. I had become utterly paranoid to eat carbs and healthy sweets. Both of these professionals convinced me to bring back my gluten free grains/seeds, healthy carbs (small amounts) and my healthy sweets (dates, honey and maple syrup) again in small amounts. They also said to bring some chicken, turkey, lamb and sardines back into my diet within reason. We discussed amounts and frequency. They both insisted that the right amount of these foods actually fed the brain and body. That my vessel required these foods to function optimally. We also discussed a slow process to bring these back into my diet and a procedure to support the break down without harm. I was already in a practice similar to their recommendations but we fine tuned it a little more.

I can say that my energy is rising from having none. My digestion is improving although not quite to where I want it to be. I am beginning to feel a little inspiration for creating food again from feeling nothing. These are all GREAT improvements from where I was 2 months ago. Getting over the fear is easing up although there are still thoughts around doing it wrong and that would mean I have killed myself. These inside expressions are easing up THANK GOD!!! I had convinced myself that starving 😩 😫 😕 was the only thing that I could have a chance with surviving. WOW!!! What my mind can do and be brainwashed with with respect to a diagnosis that insists that I was going to die and in a short time frame.

I am now wanting to make healthy cookies (no sugar) gluten free and vegan. And I want to have an afternoon tea time a couple or few times a week. I crave tradition and ceremony in my world and afternoon tea time with a cookie seems to be calling me. I need to look forward to food again. I have to get excited about meals that bring me a sense of satiation and pleasure. I need this back in my life as it has become utterly hollow from the starvation diet. I literally felt like my brain was shrinking and I was loosing my capacity to cognitively and socially relate. This is coming back THANK GOD!!!

I don’t regret the 300 Day Self Chemo process and it had its own symptoms that came during and after that I have had to FIGHT LIKE HELL to come back from. And still working so very hard to recover from. I don’t know where I am going to end up, in the grave or living on and extending my life into old age. I am working for the latter one. My appetite is strong and hungry. I am meeting each day as it comes to me. Allowing lots of down time and rest. And when the inspiration and energy arise at the same time I create in my kitchen once again. I am grateful for these pockets of culinary pleasure visits.