It is a time of massive upgrades, shifts and changes! What does that mean? Well what it means from where I am sitting is my deepest core wounds are manifesting in real time. Everything that I have been uncovering over the years around my triggers is being expressed in real time with other people. None of this needs to mean anything however it has stimulated my old core wound of abandonment.
While processing with a dear friend the other day she whispered the words “he never picked you!” I translated this into he/she never chose me. This shot through me like a thunderbolt. My core wound with him, my father, he never picked me! And with her, my mother, she never chose me. I realized the truth of this illusion. Throughout my life my father or mother never were a part of it. Once I left home at 14 years old we never really developed a relationship. I made this about me being unworthy, a bad person and unloveable. I chose that thru my dad and mom not wanting to have a relationship with me it meant there was something wrong with me! And in it all I anchored down the belief, “he/she will never choose me!” Over my entire adult life as a woman, 35 years, I have held this belief locked in so tightly it became my breath, heartbeat, blood and organs. In every relationship with men I played this out. I picked quite a few alcoholics, some drug addicts and even a couple ex cons. If the guy was a “nice guy” I would find things wrong with him and knew I would never stay too long! With a limiting belief running my life, “he/she never chose me” its no wonder I have never been in a healthy long lasting relationship.
With direct awareness to this belief I know I am freeing myself and all those that this also speaks to. Understanding my limiting beliefs, unraveling how I play them out, knowing that the belief is not true and anchoring in a new belief will change my biology! This work is not for the faint at heart and the rewards are creating a brand new life filled with all my wishes and dreams!
I have such gratitude for all those who have played their role perfectly so that I could remember who I really am, a Divine Light Consciousness Being!!! Thank you!!!