What I have been discovering in this journey with cancer is how to truly thrive while living to the best of my capacity. Also facing the end of myself, Dana Lynn Truitt. I have sat with such deep grief, sorrow, pain, terror and being frantic as my mind takes me into no longer being here on the planet as I know it. It isn’t easy to release everything that I think I am. A life ended with no real tangible, tactile and known “life after death.” Humans have a will to live and I have certainly been tapping into this strength and energy. Experiencing the possibility of the last time I saw you or talked with you has brought deep sorrow to my heart. I have cried billions of tears I am sure since September after receiving the diagnosis. One can never prepare themselves for the idea that one’s life, my stories, everything that makes me who I am, my daughter and grandson, my sisters, my tribe, all gone as I know it. I want to be evolved and transcended past the place of grief and loss yet it still comes in waves. Sometimes I just start screaming and crying out and demanding that I don’t want to die!!! I want more of my life as Dana Lynn, to see my daughter grow older, my grandson grows up, and my friends and I grow old together. I often wish for a different story than stage 4 cancer with 3 months to live! And this is only one story within this story I have discovered.
Another story I experience is living my life finally closer than ever before to my real truth. I have stepped into my medicine woman work doing radical processing that uncovers the source of the ego story within and with others. I create every day; whether making and designing a new top, dreamcatcher, new creations in the kitchen, sprays and mists, body butters, infusions, blends, drying herbs, etc.! I am relearning how to operate my new computer, doing more organizing and writing of my book and manuscript. Each day is a gift to be lived to my fullest and authentic way. Whether busy creating, resting, listening to a talk or music, working in the garden, keeping in touch with my tribe and doing my daily practice, I always listen to my inner calling. I allow myself to feel into what is my call for that moment, check in with myself to see what’s up and then move into the moment with gratitude and honor excited to be here now and ready to create.
I have released the imposing idea of healing breast cancer and stepped into the absolute gratitude of the gift of this and everything it has brought to me and shown me. Without it I would not be who I am right now. It is an oxymoron of sorts that something that was told would take my life has given me my best life yet!
I am filled with a deep sense of excitement as to what I will create next. My day always has cancer beside me yet it is my inspiration, my bright light and my greatest teacher and guide. It keeps me on track to live and thrive my best life ever!!!