Sometimes it’s a good moment, 10 minutes later, disaster, chaos or a challenge. It seems these days my ability to be in the flow, handling edges as they come and being patient are very thin. There is this overwhelming feeling to move into the woods away from civilization and just plant a garden, do my crafts, come in on occassion to sell the creations, mail them out and back into the woods. My capacity to be able to engage with others, whatever it was that I had is in short supply these days. I am hard on myself in this, wondering what is wrong with me? Then my heart says, “nothing is wrong with you, you are in a very solitude, setting your boundaries and speaking out whenever you don’t agree kind of time.” “Stop judging this ‘alone’ desire. Relish in that space of being alone for as long as it takes.” Guilt can creep in, “what about when you don’t feel alone and you need people and you are all alone? Trust the process, check in with your close people, let them know how you are feeling. Stop judging yourself! And accept what is happening.”
All great advice, and it is a work in progress for sure. What keeps me sane? My art! Anything artistic and a big call into nature to find inspiration. I realize I need to set up an area that can facilitate the making of my art. Organizing all my supplies in one area and easy access is vital in this life quest. I am going to be working on organizing and setting up my art station in the week or so to come. Watch as I make my way through this.