Just over 21 years into my ‘life change’ journey now. When I addressed my addictions, horrible diet, mentally unwell mind and emotions, and lack of spiritual practice. I had no idea I would have come so far, done so much, studied and learned what I have, and live the fully devoted lifestyle and practice I do. Today I face one of my GREATEST LESSONS to date and am making my way in it thriving.
My life was filled with stuff, there was a wall of things all around, although aesthetically placed. Things that had no real meaning, a life that was purposeless, empty, void of sacred ceremony and ritual, food that lacked nutrition, water that was toxic, and stuff piling up that was meant to be meaningful but was meaningless. Living a loveless marriage, with no true connection except alcohol, endless nights of oblivion, and late mornings trying to rid the toxic night. Finally the voice to leave, that I would be taken care of even though there was no man in sight. I ventured out on my greatest adventure yet, a life to be with myself and I lived alone for a number of years. I still dabbled here and there dipping my toe into relationships. Then went all in with a couple very unconscious addict men that took about 7 years all in. And finally nowhere else to turn, moneyless, and homeless just getting back from a rag tag fugitive journey from Central America. Luckily I had earth angels in my life, was taken in by one where I stayed for 2 weeks upon my arrival back into Canada. Then onto the next where it was a couple months, then another where I ended up in Port Alberni living for 7 months or so. After that back to the south part of the island where another angel gave me a space free of charge for 4 or 5 months. It was here I discovered all the parts of me who had created a narrative of not being worthy, loveable, enough, and beautiful. I was all alone, there wasn’t anyone in my room, internal and external. These were the voices of my past however they were still here in my present. It was in this moment that I realized it was my voice now and had always been even in the abusive relationships. They were just showing me what I was telling myself. This was a BIG EPIPHANY. This began my true celibate life. I devoted 4 years to unraveling all my unconscious stories, triggers, unlimited beliefs and not having any sexual contact with anyone. This turned into 7 or 8 years. These were some of the most joyful, real, creative and empowering times. By this time I had become a force, connected to my Priestess/Goddess, on a healthy and nourishing diet, vegan, vegetarian, making alot of my own medicines, all homemade meals, fermenting and self loving practices filled with ceremony and ritual.
And the ‘gift’ in my breast had arrived in this time too. I went through some more challenging times, and almost leaving the planet. I am here today living as softly, respectfully, honestly and authentically as I can.
My life has become ‘less of a footprint’👣 these days. And what does that mean? For me it has taken a path of living with so much less and only with what has true purpose and meaning anything else is on its way to a friend, family member or thrift shop. I don’t buy toilet paper or paper towels, haven’t in years. I use magnetic balls for laundry, so no laundry soap in over 15 years. I don’t use makeup never have. No skin products, creams or lotions only those that I make from my alchemy pantry. I create all my own tinctures, homemade vegan milks, chocolate bars and sauerkrauts. I have made all my own toques, scarves, fingerless gloves, sweaters, hoodies, and headbands. I am an artist and everything up on my wall I have made. I have a garden, small because of where I live right now but for the summer I don’t buy greens for salads. I planted a small crop of garlic this fall, what I had space for. And used nature to tuck my garden away for this spring. Collected seaweed from my local beach that I soaked for 3 days before putting into my garden. Then collected the shells from the local nut trees and put that all in my garden and pots as well as the leaves that fell right outside my door. I am a true Homesteader, Witch, Alchemist, and Medicine Woman at heart and continue to stay open to this lifestyle. Always learning and remembering what more I can do to living ‘less of a footprint’👣.